Last night, my room mate did something that I considered obnoxious. At 4am. In the middle of the day, I might've been more equipped to handle it. As it was, all I could do was cry out, "Lord, when I did that, I was NEVER that obnoxious!"

And the Lord didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

Because yes, I did the exact same thing she did before, and I WAS that obnoxious. I just didn't realize it at the time. The only reason I no longer do those things is because Jesus is in my life now.

This made me realize two things:

1. I never did this particular obnoxious thing around PEOPLE, but I did it around God. All the time, God was there, putting up with this. And yet, he wasn't like me when my room mate first walked in. He wasn't like, oh my gosh why does she do this? When is she going to STOP! No. God was right there the whole time, reassuring me that he still loved me. And he had to do that a lot. He was still pleading for me to stop, but patiently, ever patiently, loving me through. I thought about that this morning, and I looked at God in awe and wonder. How can he treat me that way? How did he patiently stick with me? For the first time in a long time, I looked at God with awe, wonder, and love.

2. How dare I treat my room mate, even in my thoughts, with any less patience than God has shown me? How dare I look down on anyone who does these things when, if I didn't have Jesus, I would absolutely be doing the same things, and perhaps worse things?

I pray that God will grant me patience. And love. 1 corinthians 13 says that love is "long suffering." I like that better than the word "patient," because long suffering implies what it actually is: suffering for a long time with someone/for something.

The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, and long suffering. Love suffers long. Long suffering. I pray for these gifts. And to keep my eyes ever fixed on Jesus, the one who loves me enough to suffer long with me.

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